Tom Writes Blogs

Somewhat of a diary.

2010-03-22T09:11:00.000-07:00

I think i've decided that i need to vent in somewhat of a private manor, its not so much negative, I'm in a brilliant place right now but there's some things that i just need to write,in order for myself to see with my own eyes. By doing so i guess these things therefor seem real.

I'm at a complete loss these days, ironically becoming the type that craves the position of the martyr, maybe i need to pull myself apart because by doing so i don't have to face the fact that i need to take positive steps and in fact take them very soon. Education is not going my was and to be frank i'm probably going to fulfill the progress reports that were placed in front of me today, i'm not ok with that. I'm not ok with that in the slightest but what can i do? this has been a weird year and oddly an equally uneventful one, it has changed my way of thinking and living drastically, for the best and worst. I'm constantly tired, more and more becoming uninspired to do anything, i don't see the beauty or the excitement in what i did six months ago, like someone has intercepted all touch, taste and smell from my life. Its just melancholy.

My biggest worry is this modal and inadequate feeling before i've even had a chance to live my life. I mean hey, in the six months of gaining freedom i have rid every aspect of it from my life, i havnt felt the need to touch alcohol in months, i have no craving to meet new people, nor do i have the yearning to throw myself from girl to girl. But this all has its reasoning, which has been the success of these six months, i got everything i asked for in an incredible girlfriend which is as genuine as they come, i think she's beautiful, i think she's funny, i think she's the most relaxing aspect of my life right now. My music is treating me well, i et to go on tour next month with my best friends, across the uk with two american acts, something i could never have predicted last year; i have no craving to find new friends as i know that they are nothing compared to ones i meet on the road and the ones i spent my days with. My voice poses as a catalyst to take it all away, and this is the reason behind all of my sleepless nights, all of my anxiety and all of my doubt, the feeling that i might be the reason that this all falls apart is heart breaking. I can't compete with biology, i can't complete with nature or medicine, what am i to do? so i guess that concludes my explanation as the risk of loosing the one tie i have to happiness is far too high to gamble on a drink, no matter how alive it may make me feel.

I have dreams about shooting the chemical contents of the uk into my veins and wasting away in clubs and pubs, these people regardless have character, they have profiles, but though i may be boring, crippled with anxiety and doubt, i wouldn't trade what i have for any of that status, ill make my own story, it's just going to take a while.

It's just going to take a long while.

Joshua Dani

2010-02-11T14:54:00.000-08:00

Sometimes i think i'm the only one who remembers you.

I wish you were still around.

The hardest thing.

2010-01-18T18:50:00.000-08:00

I think the one thing i'll ever detest and fight in my life, fear, bargain and pray for is the loss of my youth and the thought that one day it will be a weathered memory to me.

Supply and Demand

2010-01-16T11:14:00.000-08:00

Every diary is written with the intention of being read

Never Say Die

2010-01-03T07:16:00.000-08:00

It happened, it really did :)

Goodbye blog.

Secret Blog.

2009-12-17T10:51:00.000-08:00

I think i'm done with you, for the last five months i have fallen deeper and deeper for for you, and it's done nothing but cause me sleepless nights, you give and then to take straight back.

I really liked you, but i cant but on a brave face anymore.

You.

2009-11-22T02:33:00.000-08:00

I once knew a girl
In the years of my youth
With eyes like the summer
All beauty and truth
In the morning I fled
Left a note and it read
Someday you will be loved.

I cannot pretend that I felt any regret
Cause each broken heart will eventually mend
As the blood runs red down the needle and thread
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And everytime tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved.

It's all in the skill

2009-11-19T17:40:00.001-08:00

I've sectioned the he'll out of my life ,

I have no friends, but. A small selection of best friends,

I have no confidence, but I an 100% head over heels for a girl

I dint like these, but oh well..

I'm gonna head to sleep, and dream that same dream where you think about me the way I think about you.

X

Round 3

2009-11-15T04:11:00.000-08:00

Today i started saving for a acoustic guitar.

and thats all that i have planned from now on

Noah

2009-11-11T15:35:00.000-08:00

"I've got a heart that beats for the art"

I'm getting so scared, everything seemed so set out and now i have no idea, i had this extravert dream that i clung to, now there's this voice in my head that says drop it and just live how your supposed to. Its such a catch twenty two as the only reason i ever wanted to take that path is to lead me to the one i'm on now, so why bother? it appears i'm too scared to take any form of a risk.

Maybe i'm in need of some faith, i can preach belief to four other people, but i cant spare any for myself, i wish i could, im trying to

"Keep running i hope you feel alive"

I don't want to be a hypocrite now do i.

Moving On...

2009-11-05T12:48:00.000-08:00

I just had a weird flash through the past and present,

i was listening to say anything and missing my best friend, how i would meet her after work in town listening to their album in the freezing cold, around Christmas time actually. I remember it so well, and now i'm really missing her.

Then i saw one of my friends have got their dream offers to Uni, this shot me into the future, i havnt done my ucas yet, and my friends are getting offers, i dont know where ill be in 5 years, but i think they do... I have what i want now, but i have no clue if it will work out and if i'm even man enough to take the gamble. I imagined myself at a reunion of all my friends in 10 years, and them all having moved on to big things, but no me.

Am i just being naive? I believe but do i believe enough. Do they believe in the slightest, its the weirdest feeling.

I'm going to see my best friend this weekend for the first time in months, and i can't wait

rediscovery

2009-08-12T15:06:00.000-07:00

In all honesty these last two weeks have been strong contenders for the worst two weeks (well on the activity level) of my life, i have done nothing but worked and slept and moaned about how all i do is work and sleep. But all has returned to normal, vibes restored!

Im pretty content right now, i may not be where i want to be, but i have a clear perspective of where i want everything to be, and i know its capable of happening, its just a matter of time untill everything is in the right place and i can get on with the things i love, with the people i love and think nothing more of it. My head is constantly in the future these says, but there's four other heads that are stuck in the same place, thats the beauty of it, sitting on a park bench before a night out, over looking the town center with a bottle of the dirtiest white wine ever and saying, "We're gonna do this, and BIG" and i guess that belief is all i need.

i'm really something being back in my life, im glad that bridge was rebuilt and that the fire that burnt it down has been put out. Unortunately the embers of that fire seems to be dead content on doing nothing but reforming and incinerating more and more, i hope someone pours a bucket of water on the thing.

Bright Future!

Bright Weekend, i'm gonna make Katsu Curry and get as drunk as can be for Vicki's eighteenth.

xxx

Future

2009-06-28T14:16:00.000-07:00

Today i decided to go it alone.

You can check back with me at a later date, and we'll see ho much about myself i found out.

Searching for home begins now.

Love.

Sleep

2009-06-25T18:56:00.000-07:00

or so much a lack of it, i seem to have forgotten how to sleep during these past few weeks, i eman here i am at 3am listening to Kevin Devine , scanning through anything i can find on the internet, i have to be up in three hours... THREE HOURS!

i don't complain though, tomorrow is going to be so much fun, i have managed to find an i.d in Steve's, convince the bouncers in 22, and its all gooooood! so i hope, i hope, oh dear God i hope.

I thinking of picking up the acoustic guitar again this summer, i miss the solitude of doing things solo, well it wasn't really solitude as i have stefan behind me, hitting various percussion things, but i miss the rawness of acoustic, expect me singing alot of songs this summer. I have alot of things to sing about, its been a big year!.

And funnily enough it seems i'm back where i was two years ago, and honestly,

i have no problem with that at all :)

who really makes progress anyways ?!

this is Tom, still loving life, and can't wait to see Brand New tomorrow!

"have faith" as a increasingly good friend told me today

Vibing

2009-06-24T01:36:00.000-07:00

im so excited for this friday! Brand New, Birmingham, Propaganda, Stefans 19th

MESS!

I woke up and i smell like fire, i feel like fire, expect the outcome in a couple of months x

!Mystery

2009-06-22T07:30:00.000-07:00

As much as I hate to play all secretive, there are some deadly secrets spawning around at this point in time, i dot feel guilty because its well deserved, life starts now, and stress ends about now too.

Onto making this worth living.

Expect a bang x

A blast from the past

2009-06-20T03:09:00.000-07:00

i honestly loved last night and i miss those people too much!

a well needed bizarre break!

im still pissed! Band practice later, the new songs are POP!

LML! x

To some up current events

2009-06-17T11:50:00.000-07:00

i went back to school on monday and have found that three of my four subjects are basically in productivity limbo for the next four weeks, yet i have to go in as im poor and i need that £30 EMA money, woe is me...

I've also come to the conclusion that i would gladly cut out this next year of my life and head straight to Uni, Band, whatever, i can't be bothered to sit through the monotony that has become Stanborough sixth form, in fact general 6th form life, i hate three of my four subjects, and i'm gravely disappointed in the other.

On the plus side, i have been ultra productive, cutting it fine with writing new songs, set is almost done, time to practice and its about that time where i get to play "That Guy" the "Pushy, nagging, focus on the band because he blatantly has nothing else in his life and no prospects blah blah blah" i get to play that guy for the next month. Fun Times.

Introducing the topic that has literally been haunting me since discovering, im going to a party on friday with basically everyone from my old school year group, i left in year 9 and have not spoken to anyone since, bar a few. I have o idea what they think of me now or will think of me and i'm nervous beyond belief. I feel like its my first day at a new school, which is so ironic its ridiculous.

This week i received some really nice recognition, which has given a well needed measure of hope. On many occasions i reassured myself that the past should definitely stay dead, and that i have great friends lurking where i didn't expect.

And found enough time to say FUCKING READING 09! FUCKING TOUR!

i hate life...

i love life.

Sink or Swin

2009-06-14T13:11:00.000-07:00

Today i jumped in a massive lake, long story short i smell.

but all worth it for the Bros Beer and Michael Jackson session

Im Bad.

When your heart is an empty room

2009-06-13T15:52:00.000-07:00

I could honestly sit in this spot and listen to Death Cab for eternity.

Tonight i put £5 on my book shelf, to start saving for a trip to japan, im determined for this to happen, it will happen.

The 8 year old boy will be too happy. x

Writing

2009-06-13T02:44:00.000-07:00

I'm writing from a the lab with a pen and a pad,

the new songs are sounding amazing, i'm so happy with them, we've one down a much more Pop Punk route, its a very stateside sound, really slick (i'm not putting on the accent or anything like that before you query, I HATE THAT SHIT)

I've been listening to my favorite bands that got me into pop punk, and so there's influences from bands like the starting line, new found glory and then its polished with the new genre from bands like hit the lights, cute and mayday, basically its exactly where i want to be writing at this current point :)

We wrote a fair few new songs as a band since the demos went up and they have all been scrapped, chasing the UK pop punk scene isn't really what suits this band, we don't suit the ADTR style break downs, don't suit the gang shouts, the heavy edge, were more a gang sing along vibe :)

we wanna make you dance, sing and have a good time,

and i hope thats exactly what you'll be doing on tour!.

As for now im just chilling having finally finnished my exams, i've gone through alot of personal changes this month and while im still getting to grips with it, im positive as fuck.

Bring on summer,

Tour,

Iphone software 3.0 (which will enable me to take my laptop on tour and blog every day from the van!)

HYPE! xx

so i'll give you a quick introduction

2009-04-15T12:25:00.000-07:00

My name is Thomas Dani

I'm 17 afraid of being 18

i am always second guessing myself

and i genuinely tend to express my moods and days through three point lists

i promise you this blog will be far from consistent, i have the dedication of 3 year old when it comes to blogs, but none the less i will try my very hardest to write on here. I have a life, a girlfriend, a band and some friends

i like to think that these are the aspects of me that make me interesting,

i can't sing, so i chose to sing in a band

i know nothing about golf, so i chose to work in a golf shop

im awful with confrontations, but these very much make up my everyday routine

As far as music goes, it makes up a fair part of my life for better, for worse

I'm really into bands like Brand New, The Manchester Orchestra, Deathcab, and Taking Back Sunday

and i love my acoustic too, from Dylan to City in Colour.

this also occupies the majority of my daydreams and aspirations

like your other 17 year old musician

Hopeless.

i wish i had a camera, and a love for art, i find little ways to express myself

im working on this, it will most likely be some other musical venture so stay put

in the mean time, come see me act american www.myspace.com/theysinkships

i desperately seek new people, to put some fire back into my life

any offers, well appreciated

T.D x